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My last day at the office (sorta)
May. 5th, 2026 10:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
al28894It feels hard to explain, the feeling I had today.
The entire office floor is empty. Almost everyone decided to work from home today. No wonder then the department threw a farewell party on Monday.
Only four people worked alongside me today. My section manager, two coworkers, and the person who shall permanently replace me.
Thing is, I'm not really leaving the department or the company I work; I'm just being permanently transferred into a new division in another office in another city. But I think we all know it runs much deeper than that. I scored one of the lowest marks in the yearly office performance evaluation of 2025, and I know I didn't do /good/ job. But I feel it hard to care for what I work for when books and literature and fandom (and to a lesser extent, history) have long been my bedrock.
The new Head of Department, who arrived in August of 2025, said that I shall be transferred to the Complaint Resolution Unit to specifically reply to emails. Unglamorous, but at least stable. But I am nervous that I might not do well there either, and I distinctly recall saying "I don't want to work in the Contact Centre" when I first joined the company back in 2019.
Customers make me feel very queasy and jumpy, because I'm afraid I'll mess things up.
The boredom of the office didn't do well to lift my internal spirits. I tried to give my replacement some practical lessons, but they were mostly done yesterday and completely done by mid-morning today. There was little else to do except coach him on how to use the company's internal web portal and fill him in on his questions. The everyday humdrum was replaced by silence, in which I found myself trying to fill by talking to him on various things.
He seemed nice and kind, if a little nervous himself. But I wonder how he will fare tomorrow when the office returns to full occupancy.
But the real melancholia took place in the last half-hour of the shift. As I packed the last of my things off my desk, handing over my work laptop to its new owner, my coworkers started shaking my hand and expressed their feelings. Farewells, regrets, forgiveness, and their feelings of not staying long in the office themselves.
To Prakash, Nik, and Fathin, thank you all for your kind words.
My only regret is that several other people I wish to say goodbye to weren't in the office today.
To Azizi, Izzat, and Iskandar, I wish you were here today.
I will miss you all.
And thank you for everything.
P.S: Three bags full of office stuff? Murder on the arms. Thank goodness the LRT had an empty seat for the long ride home.
The entire office floor is empty. Almost everyone decided to work from home today. No wonder then the department threw a farewell party on Monday.
Only four people worked alongside me today. My section manager, two coworkers, and the person who shall permanently replace me.
Thing is, I'm not really leaving the department or the company I work; I'm just being permanently transferred into a new division in another office in another city. But I think we all know it runs much deeper than that. I scored one of the lowest marks in the yearly office performance evaluation of 2025, and I know I didn't do /good/ job. But I feel it hard to care for what I work for when books and literature and fandom (and to a lesser extent, history) have long been my bedrock.
The new Head of Department, who arrived in August of 2025, said that I shall be transferred to the Complaint Resolution Unit to specifically reply to emails. Unglamorous, but at least stable. But I am nervous that I might not do well there either, and I distinctly recall saying "I don't want to work in the Contact Centre" when I first joined the company back in 2019.
Customers make me feel very queasy and jumpy, because I'm afraid I'll mess things up.
The boredom of the office didn't do well to lift my internal spirits. I tried to give my replacement some practical lessons, but they were mostly done yesterday and completely done by mid-morning today. There was little else to do except coach him on how to use the company's internal web portal and fill him in on his questions. The everyday humdrum was replaced by silence, in which I found myself trying to fill by talking to him on various things.
He seemed nice and kind, if a little nervous himself. But I wonder how he will fare tomorrow when the office returns to full occupancy.
But the real melancholia took place in the last half-hour of the shift. As I packed the last of my things off my desk, handing over my work laptop to its new owner, my coworkers started shaking my hand and expressed their feelings. Farewells, regrets, forgiveness, and their feelings of not staying long in the office themselves.
To Prakash, Nik, and Fathin, thank you all for your kind words.
My only regret is that several other people I wish to say goodbye to weren't in the office today.
To Azizi, Izzat, and Iskandar, I wish you were here today.
I will miss you all.
And thank you for everything.
P.S: Three bags full of office stuff? Murder on the arms. Thank goodness the LRT had an empty seat for the long ride home.
